The Ultimate Renegade – Grand Prize-Winning Essay
As promised, here’s Michelle Mach’s grand prize-winning essay in the Ultimate Renegade contest. Michelle broke the rule of “write what you know” — and hilarity ensues. Michelle won lots of great goodies, including $500 and signed copies of Diana’s and my two Renegade books.
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“The best way to break into craft magazines is to ‘wow’ editors with
your design ability and knowledge of the craft you’re presenting . . .
The most important thing about craft writing is the craft, not the
writing.”
–“Help! I Want To Be A Craft Writer” by Amy Robleski
Follow these six solid tips to break into this hot market.
1. Make a list of your hobbies.
2. Realize you have no hobbies (and no, laundry does not count).
3. Decide to learn a craft, any craft. When your mother offers to teach you how to knit, jump at the chance. In 45 minutes, you complete eight lopsided stitches and need to lie down in a dark room with a wet cloth on your forehead.
4. Write a story about how you suck at knitting. Send it to an inspirational anthology on knitting. Receive a lovely note and check from the editors, who somehow think you’re writing humor.
5. Branch out into other craft markets–crochet, beading, felting, scrapbooking, home décor. Try to learn new techniques by following the step-by-step directions in books and magazines. Become frustrated when your stuff looks nothing like the photos. Give up. Pair strange colors together like violet and puke green. Use necklace pieces for earrings. Cruise hardware stores, computer magazines and farmer’s markets for design ideas. Write step-by-step instructions of your projects and send them to magazines. Original, editors say. How do you come up with your ideas? Decide not to enlighten them.
6. Worry that you’ve become so good at being bad that you might run out of things to write about. Glue your thumb to your jeans. Realize you have nothing to worry about.
