Failing Well
I started taking a meditation class at the local yoga studio, and my teacher said it’s her job in life to “fail well.” That really resonated with me, and I think it pertains to writing as well as to the rest of life. As writers, we need to really put ourselves out there and do our best, even when there’s a risk that we may fail (such as by being rejected). Sometimes people do a half-assed job at things so that when they fail, they can say, “Well, I didn’t really try anyway.” But to be successful as writers, we can’t do this. (We have to use our whole ass! 
Not trying our best, or not trying new things, in order to avoid a potential ego blow can equal fewer assignments…so in a way it’s self reinforcing.
“Fail well.” I like it! What do you think? [lf]
If you liked that post, you might also like:
Feb 25, 2008 Advice, Ass, Observations
I hate that I remember this, but this kind of reminds me of a quote I read from MJ once:
(no, I didn’t know it THAT well… had to look it up just now)
As a writer, I’m a huge believer in this idea of “failing well.” I mean, I have no choice really. I either have to learn how to handle things in a positive way or else drive myself crazy with self-doubt, disappointment, and misery!
Back when I first took a class on pitching to magazines, I set up a “pitch list” spreadsheet that I still use to this day. On it, I’m sure to include a column on “places to pitch” for each story idea I have. That way, if a rejection comes in, I don’t sit and wallow and dwell and shake my hands at the sky and shout “Why God, why!? This story will never find a home!” Rather, I turn around and send it right back out to the next publication on the list. It’s good to get into this groove. The more places you approach, the better chance you have that someone will eventually say yes.
Linda, do you have access to my journal or something?!
I’m wrestling with a fear of failure right now as I try to summon the courage to send out my first set of queries. The realization is that each day the queries languish on my computer is a day that I’ve failed – badly. Whether or not I fail ceases to be the issue, I suppose – it’s whether I choose to fail well or not.
Alrighty, then – *gulp* – queries go out this week!!! (and the next… and the one after that… but maybe not the one after that – it’s my birthday week….)
“Fail well” … I like it! It takes a lot of class to fail well … and to keep putting yourself out there after you have failed. It is the mark of a champion. And that’s a great quote about the phenomenal MJ, Justin. So appropos.
Thanks for all your comments! Justin, that is a great quote…and c’mon, you can’t fool me, you knew it by heart, didn’t you? ;->
Stephanerd, that’s a great idea…maybe you can use it, Aoife? It helps knowing that even if you “fail” with one magazine, there are plenty of others out there to try.
I like that too, ‘fail well’ – but I like ‘fail better’ better!
I came across the phrase a year or so ago in a wonderful essay on writing by the novelist Zadie Smith in the Guardian newspaper. ‘Fail better’ is the title of her essay. Well worth a read in itself for writers, I think – Smith is a wonderful writer and also a damn clever woman, extremely well read and a bit wise – the phrase ‘fail better’ really stayed with me.
And I’ve just looked it up, inspired by this post, to find that it’s from a Samuel Beckett quote that is simply thus:
Ah – the quote didn’t come out -
It goes:
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
Of course this is all assuming the way you fail is something you can control … are we talking about the way you fail or the way you respond to the failure? Most of my failures are pretty miserable but I attempt to learn from them and not fail in the exact same way more than a couple dozen times … so am I failing well, failing better, or am I just a failure? I am grinning, by the way …
Linda, I’ve pasted part of your post into a Word document, tweaked the font to make it leap out at me and printed it out on neon green paper to hang on the bulletin board directly over my desk.
Wordwych, I’m blushing over here!
Say, I was looking around for “failbetter.com” when lo! what should I find but this site. It’s true that you will fail many times before you sell a piece of your work. Everybody does. And…you will conitnue to fail even after you start to sell it. I still seem unable to break into the really big markets in my genre. But I have been published (and paid) in lesser-paying markets like The Future Fire, Aiofe’s Kiss and Golden Visons.com, So, never surrender. Rejection means nothing: there is always someone who will like your work.
PS–I was also drawn to the Website title. My first book was called “Renegade the Hunter” and it is about a people rather like the Na’vi in “Avatar”–only “Renegade came out ten years before. If you liked that movie, you might give “Renegade the Hunter” a chance. I think you will like the tautschen people.