Feel the Fear
I’ve been reading Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. The main point of the book is that if you’re afraid of something, the goal is not to remove the fear…the goal is to do what you’re afraid of despite the fear. The people you envy — those who seem to courageously face down fears to do what they dream of — are as afraid as you. They just do it anyway.
I can see how this would relate to writing. Many writers are afraid of rejection, which causes them to stall on marketing themselves and sending out queries. I can try as hard as I can to dispel your fears: I can tell you that if you’re not getting rejected, you’re not trying hard enough. That the only way to fail is not to try. That every writer experiences rejection. But maybe, instead of trying to allay writers’ fears, I should just tell them, “So you’re afraid of rejection. Suck it up and send out that query! Feel the fear, but do it anyway.”
What are you afraid of in your writing career? For me, I get nervous before interviews. Please share your experiences in the Comments! [lf]
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Apr 8, 2008 Advice, Observations, Personal yammerings
I think I’ve started to fear the idea of actually succeeding. Because that would mean that I’ll eventually have to shit or get off the pot when it comes to the whole transitioning-from-my-9-5-day-job-into-the-full-time-freelancer-lifestyle thing. It was fun to fantasize about it when I didn’t have any success selling myself, but now that I’ve suckered people into sending me checks for words, I’ve started to believe there’s a chance it could actually happen.
And that scares the hell out of me.
That, and the idea that, after making the transition, someone will finally figure out that I’m a no-talent hack. Then I’ll never sell anything again, won’t make any more money, the banks will foreclose on my house/car/child-slave-laborers, and my family will either join me on the streets or leave me for someone with a “real” job.
That’s what I’m afraid of.
Fear not. You will probably only get the no-answer answer and be ignored. Oh, you fear for your sanity? Well, that’s different!
Linda, Your posts are always so spot-on. I’m sitting here surfing and procrastinating making some phone calls to potential sources for a query, worrying that they won’t want to talk to me because it’s just for a query, not an assigned story.
This is so true–I’m never going to stop feeling that fear but I have to do it anyway. Okay you’ve inspired me to get off the internet and go make some calls!
Justin, your fears and mine must know each other! Even though I publish in a small local paper almost every week *and* I have several ideas that I think would make it in national publications (and the nod from the subjects of those articles to proceed with queries) *and* I desperately need earnings, I am dragging my heels. I feel a little silly being afraid of succeeding in a larger market, but I’ve come to the realization that I do actually fear that in a way. The rejection thing is also intimidating for me, of course.
Part of my problem right now is that I had a bit of a confidence setback in my writing. We have a new associate editor at the paper. She knows her stuff, having spent 20 years at a large paper. The first few articles she sent back to me for revision and clarification were painful. Previously, my editors were not actual editors, and frequently changed things without my knowing (until the paper came out, that is). Having my work shot back to me with questions and tweaking was at first a major ego blow. How dare anyone question this piece into which I have poured my heart and soul, right? Especially someone who obviously knows very little about the topic I’m writing on. Hello? Someone who doesn’t know that horses are measured in hands probably isn’t going to be reading an article about a horse show, so how am I supposed to stay within my word limit and explain all these terms she thinks need explaining?
Well, that’s my JOB – to explain things to my readers!
After I took a step back, I realized that this editor is making me a better writer. I’m thinking more about how to be concise and precise, trying to anticipate what questions might come back with any given piece I submit so that there won’t be any questions or requests for clarity. Truth told, I and my other editors had settled into a ‘comfort zone’ of sorts, and we’d got a bit lazy. Still, being rather emotionally attached to my writing (I do pretty much all of the human interest stories – everything from children with cancer to amazing pet antics to senior citizens), I’m twitchy about criticism – and I torture myself with thoughts about some Big Time Editor shredding one of my articles to bits and then calling/e-mailing every other editor in the US to say, “Just don’t bother with this writer! She sucks!” Silly, I know, but this is what my brain does to me in the wee hours of the morning when I can’t sleep.
I’m tackling my fears one teeny bite at a time, one day at a time, and fighting the urge to backslide and distract myself with other things. (Such as cleaning/dusting/rearranging my home office. I KNOW I’m procrastinating when I abandon my staunch Housework is Death philosophy and turn to housekeeping instead of applying butt to chair and fingers to keyboard!) Even if my one teeny bite for the day just involves researching a market or Web surfing on a topic or developing a rough draft, that’s one teeny bite I’ve taken. Then I can nag myself forward, reasoning that I’ve already spent X minutes or hours on a topic, so it would be stupid of me to waste that by not following through. And I try to refrain from wondering “Gee, how am I going to manage living with 2 dogs, a cat and a bunny in my truck if I can’t transform the writing into a genuinely sustaining gig?”
Great post~I’m so glad to have come across it this morning. I’m trying to work on some new marketing tactics and feeling like “why bother?” as I’ve been sending query after query and not getting responses. HOWEVER, this post reminded me to keep going. So what if I don’t hear back? So what if I get rejected? It’s better than not trying at all.
Off to market myself and research new ideas for queries…
Justin,
You need to read “The War of Art,” by Steven Pressfield. http://www.stevenpressfield.com/books/war_art.asp
This little book is a quick read, but it could change the way you think about your fear and the creative process. It worked for me. After reading Pressfield last year, I jumped into freelancing with both feet. I signed up for Linda’s course, and started sending out queries without trepidation. Now, I’m landing new jobs. Yes, yes…Of course, of course… Some days, it’s tough slogging. I’ve had plenty of the “no response” responses, too. But, then, again, I never thought this would be easy. Simply put, it’s just that I can’t imagine doing anything else. If you feel like I do (that writing is what you were put on the planet to do), then I think you will really enjoy Pressfield’s insights.
This posting was exactly what I needed to read today! I have been spinning my wheels and going through the motions of freelance writing except actually getting out there and marketing myself for fear of the rejection. Linda, you hit the nail on the head – failure is not trying! So many of us (myself included) are sabotaging ourselves with our own fears. Thanks so much for the inspiration.
Justin,
You need to read “The War of Art,” by Steven Pressfield.
http://www.stevenpressfield.com/books/war_art.asp This little book is a quick read, but it could change the way you think about fear and the creative process. It worked for me. I read “The War of Art” last year, and screwed up the courage to jump into freelancing with both feet. I signed up for Linda’s course (w00t w00t!) and began sending out queries without trepidation. Now, I’m networking, making great connections, and yes, landing jobs, too. Sure, I also get plenty of the “no response” responses, but, hey, no one said this was going to be “easy.” Pressfield talks about overcoming our fears (what he calls ‘resistance’) so that we can tap into our purpose, and then simply, get down to work. If you find yourself pondering the life of an artist, I think you would enjoy his insights.
Dang–are you reaching into the depths of cyberspace and reading my mind?
Today was a very emotional day for me and it all revolved around whether or not to take a chance and face my fears. I’m finding that the older I get (I’m only in my thirties!), the less likely I am to face my fears and “do it anyway.”
As for writing, I fear committing to it because I will likely have to let go of another business which I also enjoy (others are okay good at serving two masters, but not I). I’m afraid of finding out that freelance ANYTHING is not for me and that I might be a better candidate for the daily grind. <–I’d hate to discover that b/c I love the FREEdom of FREElancing.
Posting this for Kathryn (http://www.kathrynjsiranosian.com):
You need to read “The War of Art,” by Steven Pressfield.
http://www.stevenpressfield.com/books/war_art.asp
This little book is a quick read, but could change the way you feel about
fear and the creative process of writing. It worked for me. Last year, I
read “The War of Art,” and it inspired me to jump into freelancing with both
feet. I signed up for Linda’s e-course (w00t w00t!) and started to send out
queries without trepidation. Now, I’m networking, making great contacts, and
believe it or not, landing work, too. Yes, yes. Of course, I get plenty of
those “no response” responses and rejections, too, but, hey, no one said
this was going to be easy. The only thing I know for sure is that there is
nothing else I would rather be doing – that’s what makes me keep pressing
on. Pressfield talks about getting past the fear (what he calls
‘resistance’) so you can tap into your true purpose, and then, ultimately,
just get down to work. If you’re at a point where you find yourself
pondering the life of an artist, I think you might enjoy his insights.
Posting for Kathryn:
You need to read “The War of Art,” by Steven Pressfield.
This little book is a quick read, but could change the way you feel about fear and the creative process of writing. It worked for me. Last year, I read “The War of Art,” and it inspired me to jump into freelancing with both feet. I signed up for Linda’s e-course (w00t w00t!) and started to send out queries without trepidation. Now, I’m networking, making great contacts, and believe it or not, landing work, too. Yes, yes… Of course, I get plenty of those “no response” responses and rejections, too, but, hey, no one said this was going to be easy. The only thing I know for sure is that there is nothing else I would rather be doing – that’s what makes me keep pressing on. Pressfield talks about getting past the fear (what he calls ‘resistance’) so you can tap into your true purpose, and then, ultimately, just get down to work. If you’re at a point where you find yourself pondering the life of an artist, I think you might enjoy his insights.
“Fearbusters” is another one of those “feel the fear and do it anyway” books. It’s great. In fact, I’ve read that if you’re not feeling the fear, you’re not growing or moving forward. I loved the comment you made about how if you’re not getting rejections, you’re not working hard enough. But why are article rejections so much easier to handle for me than full-length novel rejections? I seem to take those much more personally.
I think I’ve read so much about rejection over the years that I pretty much EXPECT it when I send a query out. That way, when the rejections come in, I just feel glad that at least they responded. And, it makes the acceptances all the sweeter!
My nerves kick in right before conducting an interview. As an example, in a few days, I’m interviewing the man who wrote The Book on pursuing copywriting for a living. I followed his advice and 2 years later, can’t believe how far I’ve come.
Butterflies? You bet. More so, I feel indebted to him though he never realized the impact he made.
10 years ago, I would’ve allowed the nervousness to stop me in my tracks. Now though, I’ll just breathe better once I provide him with an outstanding interview.
P.S. The Renegade Writer was actually the 2nd book I digested — highlighted — scribbled notes in the margins. I recently moved to Australia, and packed it as one of my “must have’s”.