Sharing or shooting yourself in the foot?
I was talking to a freelancer friend of mine on the phone the other day and she was telling me how many other writers have come to her asking, “Can you give me your editor’s name?” or “What’s your editor’s e-mail address?” Frankly, I was surprised by the number of times this happened to her. I think it’s because she’s super friendly and open whenever she gives a talk. Anyway, she seemed to feel bad and awkward about it. “I don’t want to seem greedy, but damn, I don’t want to share!” she finally admitted.
I feel for her and understand where she’s coming from. Freelancing is one of the few professions where I’ve seen amazing acts of sharing. Writers genuinely like to help other writers. But the cold hard truth is, We’re competitors. I’ve seen very generous freelance writers hold back information and then listened to other writers snark about their “greed” behind their backs. Greed? More like a good asset management strategy to me.
True story that’s tangential to this post: A couple years ago, Linda and I spoke at a writers’ conference in Connecticut. A writer came up to Linda and started cajoling her into reading her manuscript, while I fielded another writer who was trying to convince me to ghostwrite her memoir. Linda told the writer that she didn’t read manuscripts, but she had a friend who would — for a price. The writer looked at Linda, aghast. “You mean pay for it? No thanks!” And she huffed away, insulted. Linda and I still laugh about that one.
I’m going to be brutally honest here. I’ve got some regular freelance gigs I’m just not interested in sharing with you. I’ve worked hard to get them, I’ve built relationships with editors, and I depend on the money I earn from them to feed my family. I’ve had writers send me lists of questions about a magazine because they saw my byline in it. I’ve clicked delete. Why? Because it’s not my job to do their homework for them. All their basic questions could be easily answered by a half-hour of Google searching and the editors’ names and their e-mail addresses they’re requesting are all posted on our RW markets wiki. I mean, come on kids, at least have the gumption to check it out, something many of us have spent hours building not for our own amusement.
Here, a list of tips to deal with shameless takers in honor of my writer pal J and all the generous freelance writers who are regularly asked to give even more of themselves.
- When asked a question you’re uncomfortable answering, answer it with a question. “Why do you ask?” or “How are you planning to use this information?” will either make the interrogation stop when the asker realizes he’s gone over your line or make the asker clarify her intentions.
- Lay out the ground rules before a talk or a class. I’ve been to conference sessions where moderators have asked the audience not to ask questions like, “How much do you make from freelancing in a year?” Tell students you’re happy to help in a general way, but you aren’t available to share editorial contacts.
- Prepare pat answers to questions you field regularly, and practice until you can say them without sounding angry, defensive, or wishy-washy. My favorites are, “My agent isn’t taking any new clients, sorry, but have you checked Publishers Marketplace?”, “Believe me, you don’t want to write for them — they’re tough on their writers!” (if it’s true), or my personal favorite, “If I told you, I’d have to shoot you afterwards.”
- Ignore the question. Especially if it’s buried in an e-mail with a lot of other into, it’s easy to do. If it’s the only thing they ask, you can hit delete or cheerfully deflect with a “thanks for writing/good to hear from you” response, at which point they’ll think you’re a dipwad instead of a greedy writer, so pick your poison. If they ask you in person and you’re good on your feet, segue into another topic.
- Tell them where else they can go to get their questions answered. Point them to the newsstand, our markets wiki, a writers’ website, our books, or a class for newbies. Sometimes new writers honestly don’t have a clue how the business works. You’re doing them a favor by leading them to the river. They don’t appreciate it? Well, not to worry — you probably won’t bump into them again on the way up the ladder.
- To tinker with Gordon Gekko’s famous line, remember, “A little greed is good.” Don’t feel bad that you don’t want to share information that could cut into your bottom line or negatively affect your reputation with an editor. Indeed, too much sharing is foolishness. Share what your comfortable sharing, and do what you have to do with everything else.
Any other tips for us greedy freelancers? Add them to the comments section below. [db]
Other freelancers haven’t been much of a problem for me (one exception, but nothing’s perfect!), but I’ve had quite a few conversations with people who are hoping (planning would be too strong a word) to publish their first piece. More than once I’ve gone out of my way to offer suggestions, encouragement, advice – in other words, My Time – to help them along. As far as I know, it has never had a happy ending – at least, no one’s ever gotten back to me with good news and a thank-you. In retrospect I realized that what these folks expected was an editor’s home phone number and a guarantee of publication and (I swear) fame. I finally came up with the BEST solution when approached by people like this: I smile warmly and recommend your first book
Thanks for this great post, Diana. I run into this all the time. At least once a week, I get an email from someone asking for contacts. I have had strangers call editors and say I have recommended them – BAD IDEA. I have sent several people links to books, like yours, that I love and told them to use these great tools as a way to start but they all seem to think that writers are hiding the “silver bullet”. We are NOT. Writing is about working hard, really hard. The pay-off is wonderful but it is about actually *working*.
Great post.
Good post. It is annoying when someone wants you to just GIVE them the results of your work. I love Piper’s suggestion about recommending your book. I’ve used that tactic a lot in my other obsession, making handcrafted soap. I spent years and a lot of $$ developing my own recipe, and it’s amazing how many people will expect me to give up my recipe. I just say, ‘Wow, I’m so glad you like it. Here’s a list of the books I used when I was researching the different properties of base oils and essential oils…’ and I nail ‘em with a list of about 20 books, which range from how-to to some fairly arcane science references. Either they lose interest or they go off and develop their own recipes.
On the writing front, one of my pet peeves is the interview subject who wants a cut from the sale of the article. I’ve only had this happen two times, and in each case I decided not to write the article. I’m not going to do all the ‘leg work’ on an article and then give up a portion of my earnings.
I’ve also learned not to specifically name magazines or publications I think would be interested in a particular article. I had a potential interview subject swipe a story idea. She didn’t get published (in fact, she called me and griped about her rejection letter, and after I saw the cringe-worthy article she sent, I thought the editor was *exceptionally* kind in his rejection). When I’m talking about the possibility of doing an article about someone, I simply say “I think this might be a good candidate for a national magazine” or “I would really like to see if I can get your organization/cause/facility/program some national attention.”
Piper, good point about the time cost. Yeah, I get an awful lot of “tire-kickers,” too, although there have been several notable exceptions. I do what I’m comfortable doing with these people and expect nothing in return. When someone *does* get back to me with a thanks or lets me know my advice worked, I’m pleasantly surprised.
Thanks, Monica, how flattering! And thanks all of you for recommending RW to people. I keep a case of books around here, and when I get someone who really has a lot of questions, I’ll hand them a copy. Why repeat myself?
Wordwych, ouch! I’ve never had a source swipe a magazine market from me, but that would set my teeth on edge.
Plus, if you’re asking someone to do you a favor, or give you a gift –which is what asking for this info is tantamount to –it’s only polite to give them a gracious way out. I.E., say something like “I completely understand if you don’t want to share this info, and no hard feelings whatsoever!”.
It’s like Monica said about someone calling up an editor and dropping your name as a reference, when you didn’t approve that at all and haven’t read their work before. I’d be hesitant to give out personal info of contacts on that factor alone!
I expect inappropriate questions from wannabes and newbies. This poss was directed to the freelancers who field such questions from established colleagues. The questions from newcomers are easier to handle; when they’re coming from a writer you know from a bulletin board or met at a conference, they’re a lot trickier.
There’s one writer I’m thinking of in particular (I don’t think she lurks here!) who asks me such unbelievably ballsy questions that I’ve stopped answering her e-mails. I don’t know her well, so I’m utterly unconcerned what the heck she thinks of me.
Re: dropping names with editors. Too true! I had someone do that with me once. When the editor called to say, “Jane Smith said you told her to contact me,” I responded with “Jane who?” I had no idea who this person was. How embarrassing for her.
Diana, interesting post! This is such a tricky, tricky balance. I’ve been the recipient of a great deal of generosity on the part of other writers and editors, and I try to return the favor when I can — but usually to people whose work I know. I have found that success in freelancing is, for me, a little bit like the advice that Suze Orman, of personal finance fame, gives to her readers. Orman advises that people donate a certain amount of money to charity, even when they’re feeling squeezed. Her philosophy is that it creates a feeling — karma — of abundance, and that your generosity gets paid back. In the freelancing world, helping others, whether it’s with advice on a story or with the contact info of an editor, is our currency. So I try to tithe a little bit — and hopefully won’t get burned in the process!
Thanks for this post. It confirms my non-verbal response to a friend who is always asking how to GET STARTED writing for a living, etc. As if I can (or want to) boil down for her the years I have spent reading and researching how to get into this business… it boggles my mind that she doesn’t get it – and this has been going on for years! When I show her my dog-eared books, she looks at them and, dissatisfied with the non-easy answer to her question, doesn’t even write down the names of the books or websites I am suggesting!!! And I love it when I tell my other “writer” friend what I am doing and she says “Oh, you can’t make a living out of writing for magazines” in a very authoritative voice. Thank god I never listened to her!