Lightening Up Your Writerly “Shoulds”
According to the post How to Do The Hard Thing: Part 5 of 5 on the Play It Forward blog, “shoulds” weigh one to two tons more than “want-tos.” The author goes on to explain how to lighten up those shoulds (I should make that difficult call to my editor, I should prepare for that boring interview, I should work on a query) by injecting a little fun into them.
I got a taste of this “lightening of the shoulds” today when I was faced with a potentially frustrating phone interview for a profile I’m writing for a local university. The source barely speaks English, so I knew that not only would I have trouble communicating with her, but I wouldn’t be able to subject my transcriptionist to the interview — meaning I would have to transcribe it myself, with much difficulty. Also, even though I asked the source via e-mail several times for a few details on her job so I could formulate interview questions, she never got back to me. So I was going into this interview blind; all I knew was the name of the last company the source worked at.
For days, I felt frustrated and put off writing the interview questions. But then I decided that the only way to get through this interview would be to go into it with a sense of curiosity. After all, I don’t often get to speak with people from China about their jobs. I jotted down a few interview questions based on the scant information I had, and decided to let the interview take me where it would.
I’m glad I did. I learned all about the efforts of an environmental organization to save the Tibetan antelope from hunters, and to keep railways from interrupting these animals’ migration patterns. The source and I also talked about how difficult it is for someone who knows little English to get through graduate school in the U.S, how NGOs are structured in China, and more. True, it will be a hassle to have to re-listen to the interview later, but at least it was interesting. My should went from weighing two tons to weighing just a few pounds.
Do you have any two-ton shoulds hanging over your head? How will you lighten them so when they fall on you, they won’t, as my 9-year-old nephew says, squish your guts out? [lf]
Edited to add: The Play It Forward Post suggests looking at a photo of a child you love for 17 seconds before doing a dreaded task. (Why 17 seconds? Beats me.) I actually do this often, and I thought I’d post the photo that keeps me going through the day.
I still find myself feeling the weight of those shoulds. I feel so much better once it’s done. Thanks for the reminder!
Thanks for a good reminder of the importance of tackling the “shoulds.” I’ve just decided that I’m not getting up from my desk until I finish an article that I’ve been meaning to write for the last two weeks. It will be much easier to relax once it’s no longer hanging over my head.
These are good shots to get US writers on a breezy start-up… Thanks for sharing!
hi linda, i have a question and didn’t know who else to ask. i am an accomplished magazine freelancer who has been approached by a semi-public figure to co write a book. however, he doesn’t want to pay me at all, even though writing a proposal and a book would be a ton of work.
he says i could just get half of all the royalties. but this doesnt seem right, and i have no idea how this works.
also, if the book does well, i could get famous, so that’s a reason i dont want to immediately turn this down…it could be great for my career and lots of writers have approached HIM saying they want to write a book w/him.
should i stand firm about getting paid for my up front work? thank you, thank you!
Thanks for your comments!
Sarah, I answered your question in a blog post.
I come agree 2-ton “shoulds” all the time! Thanks for the encouragement to find a way to actually ENJOY them