Query That Rocked for Woman’s Day
This is a query that sold as a feature for Woman’s Day a couple of years ago. Once I started working on the article, I suggested to the editor that we call it “The Om Of Organizing,” but she thought it was too new-agey for her readers. It ended up being called “From Chaos to Calm,” and looked much different than my original query. Sometimes, an editor will like your idea but have her own ideas on how it should be structured. And that’s okay!
Notice how I start by evoking images that most readers (including the editor!) can relate to. I then jump into the solution — the article — with tips full of quotes from experts. In your query, you want to give a taste of what you have in mind for the actual article (that’s what they mean by “show, not tell”), which is why I structured the query with subheds and bullet points.
I had interviewed these experts in the past and they know I have a good track record, so it was easy to get them to participate in this query. I interviewed each of them for about 10 minutes, and was able to use much of the research in the final product.
Any questions? Post them in the Comments section and I’ll be sure to answer.
Relaxation: Room by Room
You walk into the kitchen and your stress level ratchets up as you view the piles of unopened mail, kids’ backpacks, and cluttered countertops. The living room is no better: The dim, poorly-placed lamps and scattered toys on the ground don’t exactly invite you to relax. And the bathroom? Forget it. Even if you wanted to take a calming bubble bath, you can’t find your bath pillow or scented bath beads.
Your home is (or should be) your sanctuary from the stresses of the outside world. When you enter a room, you should feel a sense of calm and belonging — not rising tension. And it’s more than a matter of decluttering: It’s imperative that each room fulfills its function and helps you destress. In “Relaxation: Room by Room” I’ll speak with experts to tell your readers how they can turn their home into a soothing sanctuary, from the bathroom to the bedroom. For example:
The Bathroom
* Put Your Tub in a Bag. It’s hard to relax in a nice bath if you have to dig around for the products you like to use. So use a tote bag to store everything you need for a soothing bath, suggests Donna Smallin, a professional organizer and author of Unclutter Your Mind. “Put in your neck pillow, a scented candle, fragrant bath beads, and a book or magazine,” she says. “That way when you’re ready for a bath all you have to do is reach for your ‘tub in a bag.’”
* Create a Dream Board. One of Smallin’s clients created a “dream board” in her bathroom: a bulletin board with images of things she wants to do or have, such as photos of tropical islands she’d like to visit or a new car she’s saving for. “You spend a lot of time in the bathroom every day, so you’ll be sure to see your board and be inspired by it,” says Smallin.
The Kitchen:
* View the Food. “There’s a sense of peace that comes to humans when we see food,” says Victoria Moran, a life coach and author of Shelter for the Spirit. “But if someone from another planet came into our kitchen, they wouldn’t know what it was for. Place nourishing, comforting, good-looking food where you can see it.” Put out a bowl of fruit, line peaches up on the window sill to ripen, or store garlic, onions, and lemons in a 3-tiered hanging basket.
* Clear It Up. According Moran, it’s not the cooking and cleaning that are stressful; the tension comes when the kitchen turns into Grand Central Station for the family, with piles of clutter everywhere. Use pretty baskets for mail and other common clutter, and stow away any countertop appliances you don’t use often.
The Living Room
* Light It Up. Many people don’t realize the importance of proper lighting in a room — and how it can make the difference between a relaxing space and an uninviting one. “I find that people either underilluminate a space or don’t put lamps in a place where they’re really beneficial,” says Linda Varone, owner of Nurturing Spaces Consulting and an expert in feng shui and architectural psychology. “They have a lamp in the corner where no one sits, and the reading chair is dark.” Varone suggests using lamps with neutral colored shades and compact fluorescent lights in warm white or soft white to avoid that institutional look. A good rule of thumb is to place one lamp at each end of the couch plus a lamp near any sitting area such as a reading chair.
* Get Natural. Bring some natural elements into your living room, says Varone, such as a plant, photos of nature, or natural objects like shells or driftwood. “Our eyes have a sense of touch,” she says. “Even if we’re not literally touching something we have an idea of how it feels.” In addition, nature is an equal-opportunity mood-enhancer: If you’re feeling frazzled, nature can calm you down; if you’re feeling blue, nature can boost your mood.
Your readers want their homes to be havens from the outside world, but they may not know how to create spaces that help them destress and renew themselves. May I show them how with “Relaxation: Room by Room”?
I found out about this blog on Twitter and I’m so glad I did! As a budding writer, I’m still getting the hang of query writing. Thanks for sharing a successful example.
So Linda, it looks like you included a great deal of your article right in your query. How long was your final article? Also, when you conducted the preliminary interviews, you obviously let your sources know you’d be calling them back. What would you have done if you didn’t have experts you had already worked with?
Thanks for a great post!!
Jean
Thanks, Shelley!
Jean, the article assignment was for 1,500 words. I usually wouldn’t include quite so many examples in a query, but because of the way I envisioned the article as being divided up by room, I felt I should give tips for a few of the rooms. And it seemed strange to include just one tip for each room as examples, so I did two. That really increased the length of the query.
With any source, whether I’ve worked with them before or not, I tell them I’m working on a proposal and that I’ll be back in touch for a more in-depth interview if I get the assignment. I never make promises.
Great query! I was wondering, what if you give them this info in a query, and they take the info (like the name of your source) and give it to a staff writer/writer they know? Has that ever happened to you? It happened to me once (just with a local newspaper.) Should I not identify the sources in my query letter? Thanks for your input, Linda!
Thanks, Kristine!
I’ve sent out hundreds of queries, and I can think of only one instance where I was sure a magazine had stolen my idea. It does happen, but you can’t let the fear keep you from getting your ideas out there. I do identify sources, as I think the quality of your sources help sell an idea.
However, you don’t have to list ALL of your sources. You can quote one or two experts and then say, “I’ll interview Jane Smith and other experts to tell your readers X.” That’s what I do. An editor won’t expect you to have all six (or whatever) sources lined up at the query letter stage.
Hope that helps!
I agree, Linda. I try to be a little mysterious about sources…after all, my stock in trade is my ability to find interesting people… I have had ideas appropriated several times. I see ideas as my capital–they can earn me money or be stolen, just like money.
Star, that stinks that you’ve had ideas stolen. I have had only one time I was SURE about, knock on wood. I was told they were bringing up my idea at their next editorial meeting, then I never heard back after repeated follow-ups — and then, six months later, my EXACT idea was in the magazine, written by one of their staff columnists. I actually e-mailed that editor and said I’d like to negotiate an idea fee, and of course never heard back. This was a BIG magazine and I simply didn’t care if I was burning a bridge. I don’t work with dishonest magazines/editors, no matter how big they are.
Thanks for this example and for the background discussion on why you constructed it as you did.
You’re welcome, Liz, and thanks for reading!
What a great example. I’m struggling with a query letter right this minute, so this sample came at a perfect time. Thanks for sharing.
Hey, Linda.
Why didn’t you list this magazine that took your article, and also spread the word about them?
I know I would have. I would also have contacted somebody up higher.
That sucks. Sorry.
I like your site.
Perry
Thanks, Perry! I’d rather not mention the magazine here.
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