Whenever I’ve been tempted to feel sorry for myself after what feels like a brutal rejection, I think “It could be worse: I could be trying to make a living in Hollywood.” I think about what Jennifer Aniston must have felt like when a casting agent told her she needed to lose 20 lbs. before she’d ever get hired. I imagine what actors like Danny DeVito, Peter Dinklage, or Paul Giamatti have heard during auditions. (“Too short!” “Not handsome enough.” “You? Leading man? Haa!”)

Over the last month, I’ve been riding a tidal wave of rejection with a book proposal my agent’s shopping around. I’ve heard everything: my book’s got too much research, my book’s not researched enough, there’s not enough memoir, there’s too much memoir, I’m too defensive, I need to be more strident, etc. (Luckily, everyone seems to like my writing, which is a very big bright spot!)

I have to admit, though: all that rejection started getting to me. Yeah, me with my crocodile hide! I began to doubt my writing, my talent, my marketability. In my defense, I wallowed for less than a day. Something in me snapped, and I started thinking about how hard it must be for a young actress to keep showing up for auditions, only to be told, “You’re too heavy,” or “We want someone with blond hair,” or “If you were five years younger, you’d be perfect for this commercial!” My rejections were a cake walk in comparison! It made me wonder: do actors really have it harder than writers?

I asked this question of novelist (and magazine writer) Allison Winn Scotch, who just happened to be an actress in a past life. She kindly answered my question on her blog last week, and it seems like my view of rejection is valid: rejections could be much worse.

What do you think? Would you rather be told your writing isn’t worth enough of a magazine’s ink (in writing) or that your eyes are too close together (to your face)? How do you console yourself when you find yourself getting rejection after rejection? Add your comments below!

– Diana Burrell (follow me on Twitter!)

I’ve been a writer for about fifteen years, writing mostly non-fiction books in the how-to and self-help categories. For the past few years, I’ve done a lot of coaching with writers and have taught several popular e-courses. I knew I wanted to devote more time to that part of my career, but couldn’t quite figure out what it would look like.

Then, earlier this year, opportunity came along and whacked me upside the head. I accepted an offer to become an agent with the Salkind Agency. What better way to help writers than to work with them to see their book ideas make it all the way to publication? (The story of my second act can be found here.

I’ve been at this for an entire month now, and the amazing thing is how quickly sitting on this side of the desk has cured me of some bad habits as a writer. Here’s a quick round-up of some of those things:

Mistake #1. Thinking I was more important than my idea. I always figured that my track record, my credentials, my willingness to work hard and never say mean things about my editors were the most important assets I had to offer. I was wrong. As an agent, I can’t really do much with a client’s potential. I can, however, do an awful lot with a really good book proposal, or a well-written manuscript. What I need to know FIRST is what your idea is; all the rest is secondary, and can be finessed.

Mistake #2. Thinking errors are eternal. As a writer, I’ve done bone-headed things, like put the wrong editor’s name in a salutation, or pitch the wrong idea to the wrong person, when a little more research would have revealed the right idea for the right person. As an agent, I’ve already encountered people who’ve done annoying things, but you know what? I don’t even remember their names. If they pitched me tomorrow, they’d get a clean slate. Just don’t remind me that you’re the person who was mistakenly spamming my blog for a week and we’re golden.

Mistake #3. Thinking good enough is good enough. Having been in the business for a lot of years, I’ve occasionally found myself thinking, “Well, I’ll just throw a couple of thoughts together and send it out, see if anyone bites.” Why kill myself over an idea that isn’t going to go anywhere? As an agent, though, I see too many “good enough” ideas that I turn down when I would have snapped up the next round’s “as good as I can make it in this lifetime” effort. It’s just too much work for me to tell you how to get it from “good enough” to “as good as I can make it” and I’m only going to do that for a few people who have really really great ideas and that I am convinced I can work well with. Which is not most of the universe.

Mistake #4: Thinking all offers are final. As a writer, I’m sometimes quoted a fee or given a contract that isn’t all I’d like it to be. Too many times I’ve either just turned down the assignment/opportunity on that basis, or I’ve swallowed a less-than-stellar deal. As an agent, I’m more than happy to negotiate contract terms or other details of our arrangement. I want us both to be happy. It’s true that the agency owner has the final say and there are some items he won’t budge on, but there’s a lot that can be tweaked. Moral: Talk to your editor/agent about what you want. He or she may be able to do a lot more than you think.

Go here for information on how to pitch me. I can be reached at Jennifer at studiob dot com.

You must be a paying member of Publishers Marketplace to use this cool tool. If you’re an author or a wannabe author, the $20 monthly fee is seriously worth it, IMHO.

Check out Bauer’s website here. The author matching form was especially humorous. Yeah, I’m sure Penguin, Viking, and Workman are finding hot new authors by filling out web forms. Not.

Technorati Tag:
Barbara Bauer